Trip to the Dastardly Dentist of Doom and Despair

{My titles just keep getting longer, don't they? This one sounds like it belongs in the Series of Unfortunate Events.} So today I had a dentist appointment, my first in...well, a long time...and I was looking forward to having my teeth clean and sparkly. That is until I saw this:

Out of reflex, I started to sweat and my nails flew to my teeth for a good chewing. My flight or fight response started to kick in and I was definitely leaning towards the flight part when the assistant asked me to sit down.

Trapped! I had no where to go. She proceeded to do the x-rays, putting that oversized square plastic thing in my mouth and telling me to bite down. The corners dug into my mouth and after that x-ray, she took three more. Already this was off to a bad start.

Then she leaned me way back in my chair and pulled out these:

In the words of Bill Cosby, "Dentists tell you not to pick your teeth with any sharp metal object. Then you sit in their chair and the first thing they pull out is an iron hook!...Then they try to talk to you!"

Our conversation went something like this:
Assistant: So are you in school? Working?
Me: auaee, I'n aing a ake a oring uw ine.
Assistant: I see, you're taking a break from classes and working full time. That sounds like fun! Where do you work?
Me: A a aw uaee awed Enaionaws Ickee Anuws.
Assistant: ScentSationals Wickless Candles! How exciting~no wonder you smell so good!
You get the picture:

Just towards the end of the visit, when my gums had stopped bleeding and my teeth were starting to feel gloriously clean, I was starting to relax and sweat a little less profusely...that was until the Assistant went to fetch the dentist. Guess what I have three of and get to fill in next week? I'll give you a hint:

duh...Duh...DUUUHHN!!!